My Relationship with Makeup

I was 17 when I first started to wear makeup. My beloved aunt, Jiu Mu Daforcena bought me a set of cheapie (but very useful) eyeshadows to play with, and I fell in love  with a capital ❤️. From then on, it was a never-ending journey that carried on right until now. Of course, no one would be terribly painting one’s face when one first started out, but I believe that with enough practice, one can at least have a decent repertoire of looks that one can count on.

I remember Da Boy telling me, “You know, I never expected you to wear any makeup, I love how you look, naturally!” Naturally, I was aghast. Seriously, the nerve to assume that I even put in such an effort for him! (That being said, I appeared in a hot-pink short-sleeve button up  with denim shorts and wedges on our first date, which did not scream “effort” at all)

I am of the school of thought where anyone can wear makeup as long as they feel like it. There are days when I do go out looking like a drag queen and there are days when I completely don’t bother. The most important thing is that I am comfortable in my own skin.

There are days when you go out buying groceries, looking like half a hobo…

I love wearing makeup because of how polished and put together I look. When I look into the mirror, it is a Han that I would like to see looking back in the mirror. Of course, I love to see Han that has not an inch of makeup on as well, but you know, when you are walking around then you look at yourself in the reflection through the glass windows or a random mirror, there is a certain… sensation of confidence when you feel like you own  the look that you’re sporting for the day.

For the purpose of this post, I’ve created a full face of makeup on only half of my face, leaving the other half quite blank. It is to show you that even when I wear makeup, I don’t necessarily hide myself, but I follow the lines of my own features.

OH mai gawd what a huge face I have

As you can see, on my right (your left) eye, I have my brows drawn, a moderately smokey eye complete with the cat-flick and falsies. However, it only just looks like my left (your right) eye, but with a little bit more oomph. That little more oomph is the spark of my love towards cosmetics in general. I love to see colors and formulas that can contribute towards this feeling.

Boy, I do love me some red lips!

As you might have already known, I do love me some lipstick. I am blessed with slightly fuller lips, so I have a lot of space to play with lipstick, and I do love the weight that lipstick has on my lips. Most importantly, I love experimenting with lipstick colors, as I believe that my skin is dark and light enough to allow me to carry all sorts of zany and crazy colors, as I had already shown you before. 

But do I like myself without lipstick? Sure, you betcha! In fact, when I am with Da Boy, I usually go heavy on the eyeliner and brows but leave the lips bare because he doesn’t like any lip product to get on him (typical boy behavior!)

You can call me Haney Dent… geddit? GEDDIT? You don’t geddit? Ok…

As you can clearly see, the right (your left) side of my face is less sallow and looks a little lifted. This is due to the slight contouring, blush and highlighter (if you want me to show you how I do it, do tell me!), which again, I used just sparingly, according to my features. I do not seek to completely slim down my face or have my face highlighted to the Gods, because well, my highlighter is not capable of such a feat.

I don’t quite like contouring because let’s face it, it will not change your facial structure. When you contour, your face will only look sharper from the front, but on the side, your face will still look the same, but with a stripe of color. That being said, if that is your jam, then let it be your jam! I’ve been using the same MAC bronzer as my contour (hey, it works for me!) for 6 years now!

Now that we’ve touched on my relationship with makeup in the physical, how-I-like-to-put-in-on sort of way, let’s talk about owning cosmetics.

We live in a world where social media influencers, Youtube gurus and powerful bloggers apparently shove products down our throats. That cannot be denied. For example, when Jaclyn Hill came out with Champagne Pop I actually wanted one for myself, and I waited and waited until it came to Malaysia. When it did come out, holy moly, I remember it being a whopping RM195 (AUD58.06, it sells for AUD 68 here in Aussieland), I bolted. I put it back where it belonged and I never touched it again, unless to swatch it whenever I pass by a Sephora. As a poor fresh graduate, it was what I cannot afford at all! Now that I’ve returned to being a student, I will never afford such a luxury.

This is only but one instance. I’ve seen hyped products come and go. I’ve swatched them, I dreamed about them, I touched them in store, but until the day I can truly buy something without worrying about the consequences, I will not buy them.

Back when I was doing my undergrad, I would save and scrimp every bit of my allowance to buy that one thing below RM 100 from Sephora. Any luxury makeup items that I had were gifts from relatives and/or friends or something that I have saved up for.

I think it would be pertinent to show you how I buy cosmetics:

My bestie, Miaw Miaw, gave me a certain amount of money for my birthday when I was back home. Of course, I would lunge towards the nearest Sephora to spend said money. I walked and walked around for I think 45 minutes, and in the end, I got myself a mini size CC cream from It Cosmetics, a mini size concealer also from It Cosmetics and an Urban Decay Vice lipstick, spending only half the amount of my birthday money, which I pocketed with Miaw Miaw’s blessing. I could have went and gotten that Champagne Pop highlighter that I always wanted, but then again, I remembered that I only have one face that I already have my Mary Lou Manizer from the Balm.

The most expensive pieces of makeup that I ever owned is my Urban Decay Vice 2 Palette and my Urban Decay Naked I Palette (to this day I do not understand why one needs 48 different shades of brown in their life), valuing at well over RM200. I bought them because I needed the variety.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that when it comes to owning cosmetics, the best way of getting into it is knowing that you will need (well, that applies to everything in life, really). Once you have addressed your needs, then the occasional splurge won’t be too bad. Like the best of us, I do have impulse purchases, and they’re okay, as long as you use whatever you buy!

[Oh, let me also tell you a silly story about my Naked I Palette. When it first came out, it cost only RM175, and I did not buy it, because I was a poor uni student. When the Malaysian Ringgit started to take a dive, it became RM195. I still did not buy it. When it reached RM215 last year, I bought it. Why? I was afraid that the price might increase even further! Yes, I bought my Naked Palette due to foreign exchange issues!]

What is your relationship with makeup? Do tell me in the comments section below!


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